By BEHN FER. HORTALEZA, JR.

OUR friend and hibernating columnist Bald Dragon was crying foul in his morning radio program late last week after learning of some PNP officers supposedly engaged in the highly patriotic task of “monitoring” his commentaries and assiduously making transcripts of everything he spews forth over the airlanes the past several weeks (months?).

But isn’t that flattering for you, BD?

How he got wind of the habit of the local PNP boys, we do not know. But he sounded so sure of it anyhow, stopping short of naming the PNP “officer” he harangued on air.

The Bald Dragon had posited that if the cops doing the “monitoring job” on him (and probably other mediapersons) were taken away from that menial job and given more productive assignments they’d probably catch more criminals and gun-for-hires who are now making the province their own, sweet playground. And he’s probably right – so many crimes out there and all dem cops are doing is eavesdropping?

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But, my dear friend, you’re not naïve or anything, are you?

For decades, police operatives (I suppose, for want of something to do in between counting numbers) have been doing this off-and-on monitoring to justify what the euro-generals would probably call “highly sensitive surveillance work”.

Vociferous critics (not necessarily of the State but, more parochially, of PNP officers only) would naturally be among the first on the monitor list.

It would be a disappointment if these guys don’t have some dossiers on journalists ready and at hand – dates, copies of aired or printed commentaries at any given time, wouldn’t it, just in case?

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But if the Bald Dragon’s allegations are true, the timing of this renewed “interest” of the cops on critical media practitioners (this corner included probably) is a bit quite unsettling. Time there was in the recent past when such similar exercises ended in roundups of top local media personalities when the Ilocano strongman penned that famous Proclamation 1081.

Not that we’re approaching anything similar or close to that (in)famous page in our history now because, frankly, the democratic institutions and individuals all around us just won’t allow that.

We’d rather view this amusing pastime of our cops, if indeed true, as a natural, individual instinct to keep abreast of their most ardent critics views to remind them who to send their warmest greetings and gifts this Yuletide season. You know, the dictum about keeping your friends close – and your enemies (critics) even closer?

But, who’s the Bald Dragon, you ask. Just wait till he resumes writing his column here.

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On the lighter side:

Let’s run some of the most “creative” Biznis Signs” one can find onli en da Pilipins

Bakery: BREAD PIT
Petshop: PETNESS FIRST
Shoe Repair: DR. SHOE BAGO
Squid Stall: PUSIT TO THE LIMIT
Laundry Shop: STAR WASH: ATTACK OF THE CLOTHES
Eastery in Pampanga: MEKENI ROGERS
Gotohan : GOTO KO PA!
Slogan in Massage Parlor: MASSAGE ONLY. GOD IS WATCHING

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While they may be credited for prompt response to a reported fire at an apartment house on Arellano-Bani yesterday which resulted in a contained damage by the blaze, the city fire station nevertheless blew its credit in the neighborhood’s eye for not being resourceful and daring enough to fight the blaze.

This time, they had enough water, and more important, strong water pressure. But when they got to the fire scene near a church in the area, after they were hailed by a frantic apartment owner who saw the fire engines passing by, it was a civilian instead who played real-life hero.

The firemen simply didn’t know how (or were hesitant) to clamber up the house and fight the blaze with their hoses as heavy smoke enveloped the upper floor of the apartment. The windows had iron grills.

A caretaker of the nearby church (we failed to get his name from the report), seeing the firemen’s hesitation and knowing time was of the essence climbed a part of the house from where he peered inside and saw that all the smoke was only coming from an overheated cooking pot on a stove left unattended. Hollering out to the firemen below about his survey, he was thrown the fire hose and he himself trained it on the smoking pot. Fire out.

A little more delay and it would have been a much bigger conflagration on the firemen’s hands. Now, who gets the bigger kudos? You tell us.