Smorgasbord
By Liway C. Manantan-Yparraguirre
 
 
BEWARE! Water meter thieves are out there waiting to snap out your water meters from the water line. We’re one of the latest victims here in Dagupan City.

Our water meter at Y’s Place canteen located at PNR Road (fronting GSIS) was stolen last week.  This was first discovered by our neighbor, Balong, after his aunt (whose room is situated beside the water meter) was roused from sleep by the water dripping from her low ceiling. The water line became an instant fountain.

My sister reported the incident to the Mayombo Police Precinct for record purposes. Then I contacted Ms. Remy Sapiera of the Dagupan City water District and asked her what we should do next.  She suggested we go personally to the Dagupan City Water District Office and relate the incident to General Manager Ramon Reyna.

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WINDOWS
Gabriel L. Cardinoza

I did not know that the most parodied poem in the English language was Clement Clark Moore’s “The Night Before Christmas” until last night when I was browsing the Internet. I counted 15, but I suspect there may be more that Google did not find.

The poem had a gambler’s version, an OB-GYNE’s (obstetrician-gynecologist’s) version, a race car driver’s version, and other “wittier (and, in some cases, just plain strange) homages,” as one website had described them.

But what caught my fancy were the politically-correct version of the poem and the one supposedly written by a lawyer. In celebration of the holiday season, I’m sharing with you parts of the poems.

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AFTER ALL
Behn Fer. Hortaleza Jr.

WE SPOKE too soon and now we may have to eat crow. But we don’t mind – if it’s for the good of the city we all love, Dagupan.

We are referring to the sudden installation of rows of beautiful lights on both sides of the Magsaysay (okay, De Venecia it is) Bridge along Perez Blvd. Just as soon as The Pangasinan Star hit the streets last week, we noticed as we pass by the bridge on our way home in the evening that the lights were ablaze, rivaling those earlier put up at the Quintos bridge obviously in time for the city fiesta celebration.

In this corner last week, you see, we had lamented — okay now, deplored — what we felt was the unfair deal given the Perez bridge which was dimly lit, if at all, while Quintos bridge on A.B. Fernandez Avenue had those rather elegant lamp posts delighting and thrilling motorists and pedestrians passing thru. It now appears that lighting of Perez bridge was part of the overall plan after all.

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THE merriest of seasons just doesn’t seem to be so anymore. Most people equate this sordid situation to the absence of money in their pockets and a depleted or zero balance in their bank accounts. Things have gotten so money-centered and money-driven in the world that happiness – or contentment –can’t be had with just a few pesos on hand; it has to be by the thousands to bring on a smile and buy bagfuls of Christmas goodies from the supermarket.

Outside of dying, the next most tragic thing that can happen at Christmas is to be sick and confined in a hospital while the rest of the world outside sing carols, eat and drink and make merry to celebrate what the Catholic world regards as the birthdate of jesus Christ.

To be caught in such condition and location on Christmas is so dreadful that we know of some who would bear the pain, fight the medical symptoms and postpone going to the hospital till after Christmas. In any case, the moment they finally go into post-Christmas treatment or consultation, the luckier ones get attended to on time yet; the less luckier ones only manage to delay the inevitable – a surgery, an extended medical confinement or the morgue.

Such morbid thoughts at Yuletide, you say?

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